23 Comments

This is a really beautiful story - you encapsulate so many of the "both/ands" of bearing children, the paradox of vulnerability and strength that is the pregnant woman. I will absolutely be sharing with my community and with other women I know who struggle with the question, "but if this is so good, why is it so very hard?"

A couple of babies ago, I remember standing in my mother-in-law's kitchen looking at my sister-in-law's adorable, brand-spanking-new newborn and thinking, "He is precious, but at this moment, there is no part of me that wants that." If I was ever going to be grateful or excited about a baby again, it would be a gift of gratitude from God, and on some level, I knew it... and I have been grateful, because He's merciful, and it is a blessing and an honor to hear about His mercy in your family, too.

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I have felt that feeling exactly 😂 And I’m so glad this encouraged you.

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Thank you for sharing so much! Always feel connected to you from afar… with pregnancies and birth stories. Four weeks postpartum to the baby doctors didn’t think would make it.. and I’m so grateful, and it’s so hard, too. Bless you!

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Oh, congratulations! And yes, grateful and hard can totally coexist.

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This post really resonates with me, especially coming up on another birth in a few weeks. It is sooooo much to process and prepare for. Most people seem to assume if you have a large family that pregnancy and birth is just no big deal. But there is such a holy weight to every decision regarding letting another life move through your body. And though it is infinitely rewarding, it is costly. Thanks for resharing these thoughts, Annelise. Happy New Year!

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I will be praying for you! Yes, I have felt that there are these polar extremes — large families where people just don’t talk about the difficulties (perhaps because there is so much judgment around having a large family to begin with and there’s a need to convince people it’s ok?) or the alternative where there’s an acknowledgment of how difficult it is, but the conclusion is to be done having children and definitively shut that door.

I felt so lonely in having convictions about this, but also feeling like it was really hard — and got harder each time. Harder and easier. But it’s not a one time battle to be fought.

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This is the first piece I've read from you and wow it has delivered. Love this so much!

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Thanks for joining in!

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I loved readinthis Annelise. I am far beyond this stage in my life, grandma that I am. Your journey, your feelings so artfully shared. I am always glad to see you have written something again! Blessings on you and your tribe.

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Thank you, Carol!

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Thank you so much for sharing: as someone similarly pinched between convictions and exhaustions, this resonated with me strongly.

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I think there may be more of us who feel this way than I thought.

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Beautiful 💞💞💞💞💞

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This was beautiful, Annelise ♡

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Thank you ❤️

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I am so excited to meet Miss Abigail and give ALL of you big hugs. . . Your thoughts and writings are AMAZING and insightful. YOU are making a difference in many lives and I’m so proud to have you in my life. Much love. . .’Aunt’ Susie

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Can’t wait!

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This resonates so much with me. Welcoming life is a tremendous gift, the participation in a miracle. The suffering that it entails is also entirely real. Both/and. Thank you for sharing your experience. And congratulations!!

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Thank you! And yes, it’s all the things isn’t it?

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Thank you so much for this. It has really resonated with me, too.

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Wow, thanks for sharing. This hit home in a special way today!

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I’m so glad ❤️

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Thank you for sharing this honest, real story of doubt, trust, and joy!

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