That last line is why I've taken a huge break from Instagram. I don't want to have to commodify my life for people to validate it. I want to be present with the ones I love and be present to what God is doing in front of me, not needing to take a photo of it to justify what's happening or explain it to anyone else. Thank you for writing this!
Saw your post on The Stories Between Us platform and linked to this article…Appreciating your thoughts (and the back and forth feelings) on Instagram. Questions I’m asking. Your “stringent boundaries” comment sounds apt. I wonder if there’s a short hand sort of check-list diagnostic for checking if your social media boundaries are healthy… I will catch myself turning to my phone or socials and have the thought, “what do I actually want here?” (I’m only learning that pattern after years of counseling…there’s always a deeper want—especially when the want keeps happening!)
Thank you for this! I found you from Tsh's post and am grateful to know I'm not the only one struggling with the octopus of social media. I don't want to spend more time on it, and I don't want people spending more time on it--and yet I also want people to read my writing...but not on social media. Haha. Excited to see how we will all navigate this and hopefully emerge as healthier contributors and consumers!
"Why on earth am I relying on this system to validate my existence?" Oh my goodness, SUCH true words. This is excellent, Annelise. This honestly feels true about every social media platform, though it's more blatantly obvious with IG due to its vanity and envious nature. Your thinking here has brought more clarity to my convictions, so thank you. Here's to more and more of us saying farewell to these unhealthy platforms! 🥂
These are really great thoughts, Annelise. I love how you've correlated Instagram and Narcissistic Abuse. I'm especially interested in the thoughts you had about why it's difficult to leave a NA system and its similarities to Instagram. I saw elements of this in myself over the past few years and thought it was rooted out during my sabbatical last winter, but the ugly monster reared its head during my last book release. It took a decisive moment for me to simply say, "No more. I can use this tool without this tool using me." But breaks help remind me of the goodness of that. I usually take January off social media, but I'm considering taking longer off, perhaps through the spring this time. The ends haven't really justified the means for me.
I totally agree. The platform thing and the east reach of social media has us all by the cajones😕. And people do make legit money off IG for a reason. Maybe it’s good to see it like Daniel saw his work. He was a literal higher up in Babylon, and yet he didn’t let the godless environment stop him from being the servant of God he was, to the point where they threw him to the lions because of it (sort of like modern day censorship, no?). But God helped him walk the tension for His purposes… Lord help us do the same if we must.
I’m not sure how IG works for writers but I follow one writer on sub stack and it seems like a great platform. I’m working on beginning a podcast/ online business and am determined NOT to use IG but to rely on the podcast to get the word out. I try to stay off IG. I don’t find your posts on there- so there are at least some who find you other ways!
I miss your posts but I also totally get it. I enjoy the glimpse into peoples lives, minds, and souls, because ultimately we aren’t meant to do life alone. I think that’s why getting off is so hard, because in some ways, it’s very unnatural to be so isolated in our homes. At least social media provides some amount of human connection. And yet it isn’t the same as real life. There is a dilemma for sure, and one of the things we have to navigate. I’ve personally found that some social media is better than none.
I totally agree about insta. I’d be off if it right now if it weren’t for the need to build a writing platform, like you mentioned. Boundaries are the key if one must be on it, and your month off is part of that 👏
"I am comforted by the knowledge that God is “El Roi” the God who sees. We do not have to commodify our lives to be seen, even if the whole world wants to convince us otherwise." That's so comforting. I recently started trying to hit TikTok and Instagram hard to build an audience for my book, just to see my views drop and drop and drop. I don't know if it's worth it, but I don't know what to do if I don't use them. Ugh. But the idea of quitting feels so freeing lol...
I've a dabbled in a few platforms, but that's the thing--saying safe things, compliant things. The rules determined in some nebulous way that you discover when you overstep. Narcissistic-- that sounds pretty accurate! and Yes, there is one who gets us--great post Annelise!
Good job with that sourdough; my wife's been hooked for a minute!
All social media to me are under the same comb. Be it facebook, IG, Soundcloud, LinkedIn even. I am a reader on substack, not yet putting my own words out there. It's as if platforms are all 'same', and varies/changes as major contributors find 'somewhere else'. I imagine it's all part of the 'online' system in today's society that we somehow need but don't really want. I hope Substack gives you what you want vis a vis any other platform out there...
I'm so glad you shared this on Tsh's post about Instagram! Such an apt analogy. So glad to have discovered your wonderful writing.
So true. I really think getting off IG is honestly one of the best mental health decisions you can make
That last line is why I've taken a huge break from Instagram. I don't want to have to commodify my life for people to validate it. I want to be present with the ones I love and be present to what God is doing in front of me, not needing to take a photo of it to justify what's happening or explain it to anyone else. Thank you for writing this!
Saw your post on The Stories Between Us platform and linked to this article…Appreciating your thoughts (and the back and forth feelings) on Instagram. Questions I’m asking. Your “stringent boundaries” comment sounds apt. I wonder if there’s a short hand sort of check-list diagnostic for checking if your social media boundaries are healthy… I will catch myself turning to my phone or socials and have the thought, “what do I actually want here?” (I’m only learning that pattern after years of counseling…there’s always a deeper want—especially when the want keeps happening!)
Thank you for this! I found you from Tsh's post and am grateful to know I'm not the only one struggling with the octopus of social media. I don't want to spend more time on it, and I don't want people spending more time on it--and yet I also want people to read my writing...but not on social media. Haha. Excited to see how we will all navigate this and hopefully emerge as healthier contributors and consumers!
"Why on earth am I relying on this system to validate my existence?" Oh my goodness, SUCH true words. This is excellent, Annelise. This honestly feels true about every social media platform, though it's more blatantly obvious with IG due to its vanity and envious nature. Your thinking here has brought more clarity to my convictions, so thank you. Here's to more and more of us saying farewell to these unhealthy platforms! 🥂
These are really great thoughts, Annelise. I love how you've correlated Instagram and Narcissistic Abuse. I'm especially interested in the thoughts you had about why it's difficult to leave a NA system and its similarities to Instagram. I saw elements of this in myself over the past few years and thought it was rooted out during my sabbatical last winter, but the ugly monster reared its head during my last book release. It took a decisive moment for me to simply say, "No more. I can use this tool without this tool using me." But breaks help remind me of the goodness of that. I usually take January off social media, but I'm considering taking longer off, perhaps through the spring this time. The ends haven't really justified the means for me.
I totally agree. The platform thing and the east reach of social media has us all by the cajones😕. And people do make legit money off IG for a reason. Maybe it’s good to see it like Daniel saw his work. He was a literal higher up in Babylon, and yet he didn’t let the godless environment stop him from being the servant of God he was, to the point where they threw him to the lions because of it (sort of like modern day censorship, no?). But God helped him walk the tension for His purposes… Lord help us do the same if we must.
I’m not sure how IG works for writers but I follow one writer on sub stack and it seems like a great platform. I’m working on beginning a podcast/ online business and am determined NOT to use IG but to rely on the podcast to get the word out. I try to stay off IG. I don’t find your posts on there- so there are at least some who find you other ways!
I miss your posts but I also totally get it. I enjoy the glimpse into peoples lives, minds, and souls, because ultimately we aren’t meant to do life alone. I think that’s why getting off is so hard, because in some ways, it’s very unnatural to be so isolated in our homes. At least social media provides some amount of human connection. And yet it isn’t the same as real life. There is a dilemma for sure, and one of the things we have to navigate. I’ve personally found that some social media is better than none.
I totally agree about insta. I’d be off if it right now if it weren’t for the need to build a writing platform, like you mentioned. Boundaries are the key if one must be on it, and your month off is part of that 👏
"I am comforted by the knowledge that God is “El Roi” the God who sees. We do not have to commodify our lives to be seen, even if the whole world wants to convince us otherwise." That's so comforting. I recently started trying to hit TikTok and Instagram hard to build an audience for my book, just to see my views drop and drop and drop. I don't know if it's worth it, but I don't know what to do if I don't use them. Ugh. But the idea of quitting feels so freeing lol...
Chuck DeGroat's book is excellent and painfully spot-on. You are a gifted writer - thank you for sharing it with us!
I've a dabbled in a few platforms, but that's the thing--saying safe things, compliant things. The rules determined in some nebulous way that you discover when you overstep. Narcissistic-- that sounds pretty accurate! and Yes, there is one who gets us--great post Annelise!
Good job with that sourdough; my wife's been hooked for a minute!
All social media to me are under the same comb. Be it facebook, IG, Soundcloud, LinkedIn even. I am a reader on substack, not yet putting my own words out there. It's as if platforms are all 'same', and varies/changes as major contributors find 'somewhere else'. I imagine it's all part of the 'online' system in today's society that we somehow need but don't really want. I hope Substack gives you what you want vis a vis any other platform out there...