I’m sorry to hear about the cow dying. It can be surreal to place ourselves in a story and imagine how it ought to be written…and then find that God is an author we haven’t quite been able to predict. This can be awfully sad in some cases, merciful in others. We watched a robin couple build a nest in an unreliable spot right after I learned of a new baby. She laid her eggs and I prayed for their success. A few days later, we found the nest upside-down on the rocks, and the shells and yolks scattered around. It felt like a bad omen, and I knew that a human author would probably have used that as foreshadowing. But it doesn’t seem God has used it that way for me - a baby is still growing. Yes, there is death, in the world and on your farm, but life is far more abundant. I keep finding God to be more generous than I was expecting.
I’m glad you’re living your dream, even if it doesn’t always feel dreamy when it’s so sticky and dirty and chaotic. (Those little ash footprints are precious.) Thanks for sharing this with us.
The ash footprints are still making me laugh! Toddlers... she is so, so, industrious. As if to illustrate this post, in the time I was finishing it up she had "fed the dog", pulled all the flies off the sticky trap on the window and put them in the trash, and helpfully used the spray stain remover on her hands. So self sufficient and helpful! Haha!
I especially resonated with your ending about comparing lives with our current/local society as opposed to global society. I'm coming to accept that my family is choosing to live quite differently than most but it's still really hard when people are directly interfering to a level that can't just be ignored.
Yes, I am getting better at putting blinders on. Sometimes I ask myself, "If I had no idea what anyone else was doing right now, would I be happy with what I'm doing?" and quite often the answer is yes, so that is a helpful mental shift.
Love this post, you write so beautifully about your life. The bit about being happy with your life if you didn't know what everyone else was doing really nails it.
Thank you! Yes, it's something I come back to quite often because I'm really prone to looking around and comparing what "everyone" else and "they" are doing. My husband is always asking, "Who is "they"? and so often it's not even any specific person, but this nebulous sense that "everyone" is doing all these other things that I am not. Usually if I get specific about the people I actually know, then I can see that they are not doing "everything" because they are making trade-offs particular to their own life and temperament, just like I am.
And the "everyone" is largely a product of this composite social media imaginary creature! She does not exist! I try to be as transparent as I can here, because no one is doing it all. But it's also good for me to recognize where other temperament differences come in. I have a pretty high capacity for work at my house, and a pretty low capacity for leaving it haha!
It did, laughably, occur to me while reading footnote #1 that the entire ethos of a ballerina is to make incredibly difficult, painful and even somewhat absurd things look beautiful and effortless… what else could we expect of her? :D
Ha! I have never thought of that in re. to Ballerina Farm, but yes, it's totally a performance skill! Don't break a sweat and make it look beautiful. I can actually appreciate that as a former violinist. The amount of work it takes to make something look effortless. The audience should never so much as glimpse that the practice room is what made this thing happen...
All of us disembodied balloons need something to hold us to the ground. Something I've been thinking about recently -- why are ideas on the Internet so much more fun than my real life at times? Oooh, because they don't involve my body, only my brain. Welp. That's something to sit with now...
You are AMAZING!!! Other than the fact that you are young, I don’t know how you can do so much and still have time to write so beautifully ❤️. Hugs and LOVE ❤️ to all of you. Missing you. ‘Aunt’ Susie
Great post, Annelise! 💚 I relate to so much of this. I have to admit, I asked my husband what “regenerative grazing” was, I’d never heard of that term. He said, “I’d call it common sense.” 😂 anyway, lots of things I could unpack there, on how “new” things really aren’t so new. It’s just repackaged with fancy titles. Haha.
hahahaha, that is really funny. I think our husbands might get along 😜 The amount of things that are common sense that are not so common anymore (or have been re-sold, like you said with fancy names). "Rucking" always gets me -- uh, they used to just call that work.
I’m sorry to hear about the cow dying. It can be surreal to place ourselves in a story and imagine how it ought to be written…and then find that God is an author we haven’t quite been able to predict. This can be awfully sad in some cases, merciful in others. We watched a robin couple build a nest in an unreliable spot right after I learned of a new baby. She laid her eggs and I prayed for their success. A few days later, we found the nest upside-down on the rocks, and the shells and yolks scattered around. It felt like a bad omen, and I knew that a human author would probably have used that as foreshadowing. But it doesn’t seem God has used it that way for me - a baby is still growing. Yes, there is death, in the world and on your farm, but life is far more abundant. I keep finding God to be more generous than I was expecting.
I’m glad you’re living your dream, even if it doesn’t always feel dreamy when it’s so sticky and dirty and chaotic. (Those little ash footprints are precious.) Thanks for sharing this with us.
The ash footprints are still making me laugh! Toddlers... she is so, so, industrious. As if to illustrate this post, in the time I was finishing it up she had "fed the dog", pulled all the flies off the sticky trap on the window and put them in the trash, and helpfully used the spray stain remover on her hands. So self sufficient and helpful! Haha!
I especially resonated with your ending about comparing lives with our current/local society as opposed to global society. I'm coming to accept that my family is choosing to live quite differently than most but it's still really hard when people are directly interfering to a level that can't just be ignored.
Yes, I am getting better at putting blinders on. Sometimes I ask myself, "If I had no idea what anyone else was doing right now, would I be happy with what I'm doing?" and quite often the answer is yes, so that is a helpful mental shift.
Love this post, you write so beautifully about your life. The bit about being happy with your life if you didn't know what everyone else was doing really nails it.
Thank you! Yes, it's something I come back to quite often because I'm really prone to looking around and comparing what "everyone" else and "they" are doing. My husband is always asking, "Who is "they"? and so often it's not even any specific person, but this nebulous sense that "everyone" is doing all these other things that I am not. Usually if I get specific about the people I actually know, then I can see that they are not doing "everything" because they are making trade-offs particular to their own life and temperament, just like I am.
And the "everyone" is largely a product of this composite social media imaginary creature! She does not exist! I try to be as transparent as I can here, because no one is doing it all. But it's also good for me to recognize where other temperament differences come in. I have a pretty high capacity for work at my house, and a pretty low capacity for leaving it haha!
Loved reading this! So well said in so many ways.
It did, laughably, occur to me while reading footnote #1 that the entire ethos of a ballerina is to make incredibly difficult, painful and even somewhat absurd things look beautiful and effortless… what else could we expect of her? :D
Ha! I have never thought of that in re. to Ballerina Farm, but yes, it's totally a performance skill! Don't break a sweat and make it look beautiful. I can actually appreciate that as a former violinist. The amount of work it takes to make something look effortless. The audience should never so much as glimpse that the practice room is what made this thing happen...
Footnote 4 - can relate.
All of us disembodied balloons need something to hold us to the ground. Something I've been thinking about recently -- why are ideas on the Internet so much more fun than my real life at times? Oooh, because they don't involve my body, only my brain. Welp. That's something to sit with now...
hard same
You are AMAZING!!! Other than the fact that you are young, I don’t know how you can do so much and still have time to write so beautifully ❤️. Hugs and LOVE ❤️ to all of you. Missing you. ‘Aunt’ Susie
Love you too!
I think this is one of my favorite posts of yours, Annelise. So beautifully put together.
Thank you, Lindsey, that is such a nice encouragement!
Great post, Annelise! 💚 I relate to so much of this. I have to admit, I asked my husband what “regenerative grazing” was, I’d never heard of that term. He said, “I’d call it common sense.” 😂 anyway, lots of things I could unpack there, on how “new” things really aren’t so new. It’s just repackaged with fancy titles. Haha.
hahahaha, that is really funny. I think our husbands might get along 😜 The amount of things that are common sense that are not so common anymore (or have been re-sold, like you said with fancy names). "Rucking" always gets me -- uh, they used to just call that work.
Rucking sounds more fun, though! ;)