You're welcome ❤️ I once read an essay that was a response to Emily Dickinson's "Hope" is the thing with feathers" -- the response was that hope had asked everything of her, and I think of that sometimes. Hope asks so much. And then I think of the verse, "We have this hope, as an anchor for our souls..." and what is the "hope"? The unchanging nature of God and his promises,
"so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged"
Exactly, exactly right 💛 Hope does ask everything of us, because hope is what sustains us. A buoy and an anchor both. Great visuals—feathers, flight, floating, and yet set.
Thanks for being vulnerable, Annelise! I relate to multiple things you share here, like the weeds. Your point about how, while a pain to manage, the environment allowing the weeds to grow is also what is allowing the garden plants to grow is a really helpful reminder. I often complain about the sheer amount of weeds we seem to constantly have, but I need to consider the situation from a more positive angle.
I think that some personalities, for sure my own, are more prone to being exceptionally disappointed when life is not ideal. I think about Tsh Oxenreider's definition of acedia -- "the sadness that good things are hard" quite a bit. But I think that idea of cheap grace ties in there too. It's one of the things I've appreciated most about Catholic theology is that it gives more shape and meaning to the everyday trials.
Oh wow, the advice to younger moms section! I was so blessed to have a mom of 5, ten years ahead of me, basically tell me I’m doing a lot and doing it well. She doesn’t know me super well. We went to church together and had a brief connection a few years ago, and we visited yesterday when she said this. It meant the world to me to hear, though.
Also, thanks for being open about the social media issues. I kept feeling like something was uniquely wrong with me for having similar experiences. HA. I hope you enjoy the real life, including all the scary hope, that fills the social media vibe.
Ha, I do not think there is something uniquely wrong with you! The Notes thing is a bummer, because there's a lot of parts of it I enjoy. I wish I could have those kinds of conversations about these things with people IRL, you know? And I have found a lot of readers that way, so I'm conflicted there too. But I just keep praying, "Okay, Lord, if you want me to do this writing thing then you're going to have to show me a way to do it without losing the more important things". When I got off IG I felt like it was going to be *the* death blow to my writing ambitions, but it was very clearly what I needed to do, and then I think the morning after I deleted my account, someone larger shared something I wrote, and my subscribers doubled overnight. It was like this very clear reminder from God that this was under his control, and I just needed to be faithful and obedient. So I try to put my blinders on, but it's hard, because I am ambitious. It feels (and is?) like a sacrifice to give up on growth opportunities.
Yeah, Notes is not a unique You Problem, the vibe really is just social media's whole shtick!
I was on Twitter my whole 20's basically and (re: the desire to live in your mind) I remember literally saying as a single mid-20's girl "I LIKE TWITTER BECAUSE IT'S JUST PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IDEAS NOT BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR LIFE AND FAMILY LIKE INSTAGRAM." But yeah, the words-and-ideas discourse that comes in quick doses is the bread and butter of Twitter and Notes. And has it's own pitfalls of any social media. I actually stopped keeping up with it all last December! Whatever I find on there is just happenstance or looking at a certain person's feed or a certain post's restacks, etc.
Is it hyporcritical for me to continue posting into the void on a whim when I'm not even keeping up with it? Probably. Most likely. lol But the newsletter is where I put the things I truly want to stick.
Related to this idea though, I was toying with the idea of doing a sort of postpartum diary post, so I went back and found all my Notes "postpartum diary" type entries, and it was such a royal PITA to copy/paste them into a useable format! For that reason alone I might try to have more of the ideas/conversation I care about in my newsletter. I didn't love the feeling of having this idea that I wanted, that I knew I'd written about be so hard to find.
Libby has delivered! I started Everything Sad is Untrue a couple years ago and then I think it got returned on me and I never got back to it.
I really enjoyed all of Claire's books! I read the two most recent middle-grade (Take it from the Top and Rachel Riley) and then Funeral Ladies. They all touched on some different sore/tender spots for me too. I know that some are written for middle school girls, but I was reflecting a bit on how much the middle schooler in most of us is alive and well, so maybe reading things for our internal 8th grader is good for us.
They are vicious and so annoying how they take a plant from thriving to flat overnight. So far things are still alive, though a few that I caught are limping along, but I think I saved most of the main stems... 🙏 I guess you have to repeat the treatment every week for a while, I can't remember what the video said the life cycle of the larvae is, but it makes sense to inject it (I just sprayed it very well where any of the damage was apparent on the main stem, and that also seemed to work, but we'll see)
After my 6th baby + move to the country I needed a solid 2 years to absorb my life and different aspects of creativity (reading, good movies, documentaries, solid walks, friend connections), before I was able to really be creative again. I dabbled on social media and kept some cooking and art going but it has really taken a while to be a creative again without it draining my life source. For a long time it felt like either I could serve my family or I could be online but not both. I think/hope I’m finding that middle ground. After long seasons of disengaging from my online life I feel a very respectable distance from- psychotic “I crave affirmation”- to a mellow- “this is fun”. I’ll circle back into psycho mode eventually bc it’ll pull me in, and I’ll need to disengage again.
I can very much relate to that sort of engagement and withdrawal from online life! It's so hard to keep it in balance, I think just because of the nature of the beast. I've been taking notes on the people who have been in this long haul without losing their souls, and it seems that regular breaks are an important part of longevity.
I'm not "old" per se, but it's interesting, this shift into not actually being a young mom, anymore. I guess by age standards, I sort of am? (This one is tricky, because depending on peer group the norms are wildly variant). But in terms of the ages and number of my kids, I'm solidly moving into middle mom territory.
I read this earlier and now I'm circling back around. As usuaI, I could connect with several points despite the different life stages we're in.
This is exactly how I felt trying to get my writing groove back over the last several weeks: "I want to have written, not to write. I want it to feel easy, not like everything is stupid while I’m writing it."
Also my Notes were gaining more comments etc a few months and all the dopamine hits...and then I naturally had to stop because I was so busy. I had gotten to that place where you're viewing life through the lens of what will make a good Note later instead of being inside my body, fully experiencing the moment...When I came back to notes and looked with a fresh perspective I just felt kind of "ick" about starting that all over again. The break wasn't intentional but it was g-o-o-d. Each to the their own of course, not preaching to anyone else reading this. But for now I'm sticking with my newsletter.
And yes I feel like the best thing we can give each other is "this is hard, your doing great". A friend had to say that to me about parenting recently and it meant a lot. Actually she said "you're not failing as a parent, that's the devil talking" and I wanted to hug her. Food is good, too!
Hands down my favorite line in your newsletter was when you called your sandy baby "a little breaded fish stick". Thank you for that.😂
Yes, I feel the same "ick" about the hustle, even though there's an equal push-pull because I am good at those sorts of pithy things and I was getting a lot of new subscribers that way.
The breaded fish stick is my favorite right now -- he is so darn cute. Sometimes I wish I posted more pictures, just bc he's that darling.
My little man is nearly eight months and you captured the aura of this time with him so perfectly - although my PJ strings are his culinary preference 😂 It's tough trying to write with little ones. Every time I think I might have a coherent thought or cogent argument I'm interrupted by my most adorable squish's needs. Loved your honest portrayal and peak into your beautiful life 💙
Hope is the scariest thing in the world 😭 Exactly what I needed this week! Thank you, friend.
You're welcome ❤️ I once read an essay that was a response to Emily Dickinson's "Hope" is the thing with feathers" -- the response was that hope had asked everything of her, and I think of that sometimes. Hope asks so much. And then I think of the verse, "We have this hope, as an anchor for our souls..." and what is the "hope"? The unchanging nature of God and his promises,
"so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged"
Exactly, exactly right 💛 Hope does ask everything of us, because hope is what sustains us. A buoy and an anchor both. Great visuals—feathers, flight, floating, and yet set.
Thanks for being vulnerable, Annelise! I relate to multiple things you share here, like the weeds. Your point about how, while a pain to manage, the environment allowing the weeds to grow is also what is allowing the garden plants to grow is a really helpful reminder. I often complain about the sheer amount of weeds we seem to constantly have, but I need to consider the situation from a more positive angle.
I think that some personalities, for sure my own, are more prone to being exceptionally disappointed when life is not ideal. I think about Tsh Oxenreider's definition of acedia -- "the sadness that good things are hard" quite a bit. But I think that idea of cheap grace ties in there too. It's one of the things I've appreciated most about Catholic theology is that it gives more shape and meaning to the everyday trials.
Oh wow, the advice to younger moms section! I was so blessed to have a mom of 5, ten years ahead of me, basically tell me I’m doing a lot and doing it well. She doesn’t know me super well. We went to church together and had a brief connection a few years ago, and we visited yesterday when she said this. It meant the world to me to hear, though.
Also, thanks for being open about the social media issues. I kept feeling like something was uniquely wrong with me for having similar experiences. HA. I hope you enjoy the real life, including all the scary hope, that fills the social media vibe.
Ha, I do not think there is something uniquely wrong with you! The Notes thing is a bummer, because there's a lot of parts of it I enjoy. I wish I could have those kinds of conversations about these things with people IRL, you know? And I have found a lot of readers that way, so I'm conflicted there too. But I just keep praying, "Okay, Lord, if you want me to do this writing thing then you're going to have to show me a way to do it without losing the more important things". When I got off IG I felt like it was going to be *the* death blow to my writing ambitions, but it was very clearly what I needed to do, and then I think the morning after I deleted my account, someone larger shared something I wrote, and my subscribers doubled overnight. It was like this very clear reminder from God that this was under his control, and I just needed to be faithful and obedient. So I try to put my blinders on, but it's hard, because I am ambitious. It feels (and is?) like a sacrifice to give up on growth opportunities.
Yeah, Notes is not a unique You Problem, the vibe really is just social media's whole shtick!
I was on Twitter my whole 20's basically and (re: the desire to live in your mind) I remember literally saying as a single mid-20's girl "I LIKE TWITTER BECAUSE IT'S JUST PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IDEAS NOT BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR LIFE AND FAMILY LIKE INSTAGRAM." But yeah, the words-and-ideas discourse that comes in quick doses is the bread and butter of Twitter and Notes. And has it's own pitfalls of any social media. I actually stopped keeping up with it all last December! Whatever I find on there is just happenstance or looking at a certain person's feed or a certain post's restacks, etc.
Is it hyporcritical for me to continue posting into the void on a whim when I'm not even keeping up with it? Probably. Most likely. lol But the newsletter is where I put the things I truly want to stick.
Related to this idea though, I was toying with the idea of doing a sort of postpartum diary post, so I went back and found all my Notes "postpartum diary" type entries, and it was such a royal PITA to copy/paste them into a useable format! For that reason alone I might try to have more of the ideas/conversation I care about in my newsletter. I didn't love the feeling of having this idea that I wanted, that I knew I'd written about be so hard to find.
Yes!!! Come to book club and read along with us! Also how was Claire Swinarski's book? It has been on my TBR!
Libby has delivered! I started Everything Sad is Untrue a couple years ago and then I think it got returned on me and I never got back to it.
I really enjoyed all of Claire's books! I read the two most recent middle-grade (Take it from the Top and Rachel Riley) and then Funeral Ladies. They all touched on some different sore/tender spots for me too. I know that some are written for middle school girls, but I was reflecting a bit on how much the middle schooler in most of us is alive and well, so maybe reading things for our internal 8th grader is good for us.
Love this. Can relate to so much of it, even the squash borer bit 🤪
They are vicious and so annoying how they take a plant from thriving to flat overnight. So far things are still alive, though a few that I caught are limping along, but I think I saved most of the main stems... 🙏 I guess you have to repeat the treatment every week for a while, I can't remember what the video said the life cycle of the larvae is, but it makes sense to inject it (I just sprayed it very well where any of the damage was apparent on the main stem, and that also seemed to work, but we'll see)
After my 6th baby + move to the country I needed a solid 2 years to absorb my life and different aspects of creativity (reading, good movies, documentaries, solid walks, friend connections), before I was able to really be creative again. I dabbled on social media and kept some cooking and art going but it has really taken a while to be a creative again without it draining my life source. For a long time it felt like either I could serve my family or I could be online but not both. I think/hope I’m finding that middle ground. After long seasons of disengaging from my online life I feel a very respectable distance from- psychotic “I crave affirmation”- to a mellow- “this is fun”. I’ll circle back into psycho mode eventually bc it’ll pull me in, and I’ll need to disengage again.
Love the life update. You’re always so relatable.
I can very much relate to that sort of engagement and withdrawal from online life! It's so hard to keep it in balance, I think just because of the nature of the beast. I've been taking notes on the people who have been in this long haul without losing their souls, and it seems that regular breaks are an important part of longevity.
Grateful for your refreshing honesty on here, as always 😉
Trying to say the quiet parts out loud when I can. Thanks for reading, Chelsea!
Old and sometimes a little griefy ... ah yes. That feeling, I recognize it.
I'm not "old" per se, but it's interesting, this shift into not actually being a young mom, anymore. I guess by age standards, I sort of am? (This one is tricky, because depending on peer group the norms are wildly variant). But in terms of the ages and number of my kids, I'm solidly moving into middle mom territory.
I read this earlier and now I'm circling back around. As usuaI, I could connect with several points despite the different life stages we're in.
This is exactly how I felt trying to get my writing groove back over the last several weeks: "I want to have written, not to write. I want it to feel easy, not like everything is stupid while I’m writing it."
Also my Notes were gaining more comments etc a few months and all the dopamine hits...and then I naturally had to stop because I was so busy. I had gotten to that place where you're viewing life through the lens of what will make a good Note later instead of being inside my body, fully experiencing the moment...When I came back to notes and looked with a fresh perspective I just felt kind of "ick" about starting that all over again. The break wasn't intentional but it was g-o-o-d. Each to the their own of course, not preaching to anyone else reading this. But for now I'm sticking with my newsletter.
And yes I feel like the best thing we can give each other is "this is hard, your doing great". A friend had to say that to me about parenting recently and it meant a lot. Actually she said "you're not failing as a parent, that's the devil talking" and I wanted to hug her. Food is good, too!
Hands down my favorite line in your newsletter was when you called your sandy baby "a little breaded fish stick". Thank you for that.😂
Yes, I feel the same "ick" about the hustle, even though there's an equal push-pull because I am good at those sorts of pithy things and I was getting a lot of new subscribers that way.
The breaded fish stick is my favorite right now -- he is so darn cute. Sometimes I wish I posted more pictures, just bc he's that darling.
My little man is nearly eight months and you captured the aura of this time with him so perfectly - although my PJ strings are his culinary preference 😂 It's tough trying to write with little ones. Every time I think I might have a coherent thought or cogent argument I'm interrupted by my most adorable squish's needs. Loved your honest portrayal and peak into your beautiful life 💙