We've got some potentially huge changes on the horizon too, and I've been hanging on to this Mary Oliver quote from an interview she did:
"...so many of us live most of our lives seeking the answerable and somehow demeaning or bypassing the things that can’t be answered, and therefore denuding one’s life of the acceptance of mystery and the pleasure of mystery and the willingness to live with mystery, is greatly what I think about. And if I could do something for people, I would say, don’t forget about the mystery, love the mystery . . . don’t want answers all the time.”
Is there anything more mysterious than a cross-country move?! Praying you guys keep leaning into it.
Thank you for sharing this quote, Shawn! I can relate so much. I think there's often been a deep sense of shame attached to how many things we've moved through -- like why can't we just be "normal" -- but I'm starting to realize that, while I wouldn't complain about things being less eventful sometime, it's not shameful to make hard decisions and try things. Maybe it's actually pretty brave.
This is hard, and also, I am excited for you. I hope that the transition will be a smooth as possible and that you will fall in love with your new situation. I'll be praying for you!
And in terms of ticks -- tick checks every day. It'll be fine!
The East Coast is lovely! We're states north of you, but living a drive from open ocean is beautiful, I even find it just psychologically liberating. Maybe you will too! And certainly family nearby, what a gift. Even amidst to the very real struggles.
So interesting you wrote about writing less! I wrote about the same thing this week. Substack has grown in so many ways. Some good ways some I'm not as wild about, but it does mean there's just A LOT out there right now. I think once a week is probably the max of what I can read from any of the writers I love. And I certainly wouldn't fault anyone for doing any less than that. Absolutely agree that there's a time to be truly present to our physical moment, and sometimes that means writing less publicly. Good luck!
** I should also say if you're more of a mountain person (Like I am) I hear the mountains in North Carolina are beautiful. They even have highland games every year up on Godfather Mountain!
I am so much a mountain person, but I think it will be easier to start with the ocean and something entirely different than to jump straight to appreciate the North Carolina mountains. They are older, and gentler, and much greener. So when we visited near Asheville last fall my initial thought was, "These are NOT mountains" because in my head I'm comparing them to the Rockies and the Tetons! I think it might be a bit like starting to eat gluten free. You fare much better if you focus on all the wonderful things you can have, that are naturally that way, then trying to replace the thing you loved with something that doesn't measure up.
And yes, I thought it was interesting that I read both your piece and Ashlee Gadd's talking about this content saturation you were feeling. Made me feel a little less crazy. Because I love writing this newsletter, but I also don't want to ever be writing just to make noise.
Although we haven’t lived in the Rockies we have spent an enormous amount of time there over the years. We are flat landers from Nebraska that fell in love with hiking. We thought we would retire there. Instead we moved to the Ozark Mountains. The are is rugged, raw and beautiful. But we are mountain “snobs”. It has taken us awhile to appreciate the beauty here without comparing the mountains. There is no comparison of course but that doesn’t take away from the natural beauty here, thus the “Natural State” of Arkansas 😁.
But, now after 4 years we are called
To southwest Iowa to care for an aunt. We are honored to be asked.
I can so relate to the HARD that comes from the grief of moving.
I would recommend to you that you seek out a “Just Moved” group. Maybe they have different names in various places but nonetheless it is an international ministry about moving and transitioning through life changes based on the book “After the Boxes are Unpacked” by Susan Miller. Incredibly helpful and a great way to meet other newbies.
“The thing about doing hard things, is that I know we’ll make it through them, but I also know how much they might cost.” Nodding my head vigorously. 🫶🏽
Yes, I think it's a little like having babies after you've been through it once. You're more aware of the great joy this baby will bring, but you also know how much labor hurts. And, like with any new life, you don't really know what the new thing will be until it arrives.
"I’m primed to look for threat, but working hard to see opportunity." Girl, this line knocked my socks off. So much love and grace to you and yours in the coming season!
I know you get this! I got really excited for a bit, and the worrying didn't quite settle in because things felt surreal. And then, there it was. Waiting for me before bed. But I've been trying to treat it a bit like a pestering child -- "I see you, okay, I'm listening" but also knowing that God gave me the wisdom I need to navigate, and when the worrying steps aside, it's flip side benefit is that I'm an excellent problem solver ;)
Thank you, Kerri! Yes. It's a relief to have made a decision and to know where we're headed. There's alway so much that you can't know, but a few weeks back I was reading a post by Nora McInerny and she talked about how you can't solve tomorrow's problems. I've been thinking about that a lot -- is this a today problem? Can I do anything about it today?
And I agree -- as a reader, once a week is great, but I don't mind when it's less frequent.
Ooh that’s a good one. “Is it a today problem?” I also just listened to the Lazy Genius episode on how to lazy genius a big change. She has some helpful big-picture questions on it around the expectations we might bring to a big change that I found helpful. (Not everything of hers resonates with me but this one did.) it might be of service to you too.
What a big move! Congratulations and sympathies! It is so hard to move, and to move somewhere so different is such a big deal, but all the best wishes!
Thank you, Christy! Yes, the cultural component (not to mention just that it's far away from our family here) feels like a pretty big deal. But I think it's also a clear answer to prayer, and has happened in such a way, that while it's still scary, we feel confident in the decision.
Excited, scared, and thrilled for you! My family moved *counting in my head* five times before I was twelve, not counting ones I don’t remember, to different towns and sometimes different areas/states. When I was 16, I told my dad I felt the itch to move again. Ha. Little did I know that counting college, I’d move to six different places in the next eight years (only counted moving to university once there 😬).
Mountains are lovely, as you know. But the ocean is majestic and wondrous, incomparable in the way that mountains are. We lived close to Long Island Sound for a year, still one of the neatest places I’ve ever landed. And gardening?? Oh my. You are in for a world of difference! Just that makes me feel wiggly-excited for you!
Rambled too long, but suffice it to say that sojourners are a regular presence in the Bible, and that’s not an accident. We all sojourn here, sometimes in one place for months, others for years, even decades. But you know that Christ, who had no place to lay His head, goes with you wherever you go. I’m praying for you and yours.
Not sure how you feel about the new DM feature here but I sent you my first ever DM just now...suffice it to say I had Zillow open when this post came through ; ) Praying for this new, brave beginning!
Moving is stressful regardless how far away you're going, but cross-country moves add an extra element of cultural changes. *hug* Hoping this is a good move overall for you guys. North Carolina does have hot, humid summers, yes, but you have beautiful (baby) mountains on one side of you and the lovely Outer Banks on the other. I hope you're able to explore it! (Dehumidifiers are your friend in the summer if your air conditioner doesn't cut it.) :)
Every place is prone to some kind of weather disaster. The upside to hurricanes is that you usually have days of lead time. Unlike earthquakes, you've got time to prepare and leave if necessary.
I live in a Lyme endemic area and have chronic Lyme, but so far none of our kids do. The precautions we take are tick checks (for us between April and Nov) after going outside and using tick spray. We make our own with rose geranium oil as primary ingredient and it's served us well. DEET apparently also does the trick, I'm just leery of the chemical effects.). In the fifteen years since my diagnosis, we've had three bites. Two we forgot to use spray and one bite was on the neck where my husband forgot to spray and then walked up against tree branches. (Ticks don't jump but they can hitchhike on birds.) Each time, we sent off the tick for testing. Testing the tick is super cheap and far more accurate than human lab tests after the fact. For about $45-50 you'll get a report on what kind of tick it was (not all ticks carry the same diseases), what stage it was (certain stages of the life cycle are more prone to transmit), whether it was male or female (for example, male deer ticks don't transmit), AND whether the tick was positive for any number of diseases. Finally, even if the tick does test positive, it doesn't mean it transmitted anything to you. Most experts also say that a tick has to be attached and feeding for about 24 hours to transmit. The tick tests are seriously worth the peace of mind and helpful in diagnosing/determining treatment should it come back positive.
I know that was a lot of detailed information, but you seem the type who might find that reassuring. :) And if I can help spare another person from the trial of Lyme, it's worth it.
I’ve heard about the testing and knew that was an option! So grateful for things like that. (Also, I’m so sorry about the Lyme disease). I think we’ll just have to get into a good routine of being aware of things.
Thank you, Stacy! We really were convinced we might go to Montana or Idaho, but land and water are so hard to come by. I’m going to miss the West though.
Praying praying praying, sweet friend! I’ve visited NC a few times and just adore it. Beautiful country over there. And if and when that first hurricane hits, you’ve got a pal down in Texas who can walk you through it. 😅
I appreciate that! My husband’s cousin’s wife is a FL girl, so she’s been very patient with my panicky text messages 😆 It really just makes me laugh at myself a little — because people live with all sorts of threats all the time. But it’s just what your “normal” is that defines your perception of things.
We've got some potentially huge changes on the horizon too, and I've been hanging on to this Mary Oliver quote from an interview she did:
"...so many of us live most of our lives seeking the answerable and somehow demeaning or bypassing the things that can’t be answered, and therefore denuding one’s life of the acceptance of mystery and the pleasure of mystery and the willingness to live with mystery, is greatly what I think about. And if I could do something for people, I would say, don’t forget about the mystery, love the mystery . . . don’t want answers all the time.”
Is there anything more mysterious than a cross-country move?! Praying you guys keep leaning into it.
Thank you for sharing this quote, Shawn! I can relate so much. I think there's often been a deep sense of shame attached to how many things we've moved through -- like why can't we just be "normal" -- but I'm starting to realize that, while I wouldn't complain about things being less eventful sometime, it's not shameful to make hard decisions and try things. Maybe it's actually pretty brave.
This is hard, and also, I am excited for you. I hope that the transition will be a smooth as possible and that you will fall in love with your new situation. I'll be praying for you!
And in terms of ticks -- tick checks every day. It'll be fine!
Thank you, Dixie!
The East Coast is lovely! We're states north of you, but living a drive from open ocean is beautiful, I even find it just psychologically liberating. Maybe you will too! And certainly family nearby, what a gift. Even amidst to the very real struggles.
So interesting you wrote about writing less! I wrote about the same thing this week. Substack has grown in so many ways. Some good ways some I'm not as wild about, but it does mean there's just A LOT out there right now. I think once a week is probably the max of what I can read from any of the writers I love. And I certainly wouldn't fault anyone for doing any less than that. Absolutely agree that there's a time to be truly present to our physical moment, and sometimes that means writing less publicly. Good luck!
** I should also say if you're more of a mountain person (Like I am) I hear the mountains in North Carolina are beautiful. They even have highland games every year up on Godfather Mountain!
I am so much a mountain person, but I think it will be easier to start with the ocean and something entirely different than to jump straight to appreciate the North Carolina mountains. They are older, and gentler, and much greener. So when we visited near Asheville last fall my initial thought was, "These are NOT mountains" because in my head I'm comparing them to the Rockies and the Tetons! I think it might be a bit like starting to eat gluten free. You fare much better if you focus on all the wonderful things you can have, that are naturally that way, then trying to replace the thing you loved with something that doesn't measure up.
And yes, I thought it was interesting that I read both your piece and Ashlee Gadd's talking about this content saturation you were feeling. Made me feel a little less crazy. Because I love writing this newsletter, but I also don't want to ever be writing just to make noise.
Although we haven’t lived in the Rockies we have spent an enormous amount of time there over the years. We are flat landers from Nebraska that fell in love with hiking. We thought we would retire there. Instead we moved to the Ozark Mountains. The are is rugged, raw and beautiful. But we are mountain “snobs”. It has taken us awhile to appreciate the beauty here without comparing the mountains. There is no comparison of course but that doesn’t take away from the natural beauty here, thus the “Natural State” of Arkansas 😁.
But, now after 4 years we are called
To southwest Iowa to care for an aunt. We are honored to be asked.
I can so relate to the HARD that comes from the grief of moving.
I would recommend to you that you seek out a “Just Moved” group. Maybe they have different names in various places but nonetheless it is an international ministry about moving and transitioning through life changes based on the book “After the Boxes are Unpacked” by Susan Miller. Incredibly helpful and a great way to meet other newbies.
Good luck and Gods Blessings to your family.
“The thing about doing hard things, is that I know we’ll make it through them, but I also know how much they might cost.” Nodding my head vigorously. 🫶🏽
Yes, I think it's a little like having babies after you've been through it once. You're more aware of the great joy this baby will bring, but you also know how much labor hurts. And, like with any new life, you don't really know what the new thing will be until it arrives.
"I’m primed to look for threat, but working hard to see opportunity." Girl, this line knocked my socks off. So much love and grace to you and yours in the coming season!
I know you get this! I got really excited for a bit, and the worrying didn't quite settle in because things felt surreal. And then, there it was. Waiting for me before bed. But I've been trying to treat it a bit like a pestering child -- "I see you, okay, I'm listening" but also knowing that God gave me the wisdom I need to navigate, and when the worrying steps aside, it's flip side benefit is that I'm an excellent problem solver ;)
You will love living near the ocean. I promise.
Thank you, Linda! Everyone tells me that, and I think that having something bigger than me to hang on to is going to be great.
I just prayed for as smooth a move as possible. New beginnings are always daunting, but it sounds like you have a lot of things to look forward to.
Thank you, Tabitha! I appreciate the prayers and I think that we do have a lot to look forward to!
Congrats! As challenging as it is, I hope there’s also a bit of peace in knowing what’s next.
And I agree with Katie. Once a week or fortnightly is actually ideal for me as a reader (and that’s what I can manage as a writer, too.)
Thank you, Kerri! Yes. It's a relief to have made a decision and to know where we're headed. There's alway so much that you can't know, but a few weeks back I was reading a post by Nora McInerny and she talked about how you can't solve tomorrow's problems. I've been thinking about that a lot -- is this a today problem? Can I do anything about it today?
And I agree -- as a reader, once a week is great, but I don't mind when it's less frequent.
Ooh that’s a good one. “Is it a today problem?” I also just listened to the Lazy Genius episode on how to lazy genius a big change. She has some helpful big-picture questions on it around the expectations we might bring to a big change that I found helpful. (Not everything of hers resonates with me but this one did.) it might be of service to you too.
I think I saw that one -- I'll have to go back and listen. I usually love her stuff, but lately it's been much more hit or miss for me.
What a big move! Congratulations and sympathies! It is so hard to move, and to move somewhere so different is such a big deal, but all the best wishes!
Thank you, Christy! Yes, the cultural component (not to mention just that it's far away from our family here) feels like a pretty big deal. But I think it's also a clear answer to prayer, and has happened in such a way, that while it's still scary, we feel confident in the decision.
Excited, scared, and thrilled for you! My family moved *counting in my head* five times before I was twelve, not counting ones I don’t remember, to different towns and sometimes different areas/states. When I was 16, I told my dad I felt the itch to move again. Ha. Little did I know that counting college, I’d move to six different places in the next eight years (only counted moving to university once there 😬).
Mountains are lovely, as you know. But the ocean is majestic and wondrous, incomparable in the way that mountains are. We lived close to Long Island Sound for a year, still one of the neatest places I’ve ever landed. And gardening?? Oh my. You are in for a world of difference! Just that makes me feel wiggly-excited for you!
Rambled too long, but suffice it to say that sojourners are a regular presence in the Bible, and that’s not an accident. We all sojourn here, sometimes in one place for months, others for years, even decades. But you know that Christ, who had no place to lay His head, goes with you wherever you go. I’m praying for you and yours.
“Sojourners are a regular presence in the Bible, and that’s not an accident” — amen! We go where he sends us. That’s what it boils down to.
We lived by the Long Island Sound, too! During the beginning and height of the pandemic. haha. Such a neat, uniquely beautiful place.
Peace to you 💜
Thank you, Lucy.
Not sure how you feel about the new DM feature here but I sent you my first ever DM just now...suffice it to say I had Zillow open when this post came through ; ) Praying for this new, brave beginning!
Oh, the Zillow listings we have looked at! I will be praying for you guys too.
Moving is stressful regardless how far away you're going, but cross-country moves add an extra element of cultural changes. *hug* Hoping this is a good move overall for you guys. North Carolina does have hot, humid summers, yes, but you have beautiful (baby) mountains on one side of you and the lovely Outer Banks on the other. I hope you're able to explore it! (Dehumidifiers are your friend in the summer if your air conditioner doesn't cut it.) :)
Every place is prone to some kind of weather disaster. The upside to hurricanes is that you usually have days of lead time. Unlike earthquakes, you've got time to prepare and leave if necessary.
I live in a Lyme endemic area and have chronic Lyme, but so far none of our kids do. The precautions we take are tick checks (for us between April and Nov) after going outside and using tick spray. We make our own with rose geranium oil as primary ingredient and it's served us well. DEET apparently also does the trick, I'm just leery of the chemical effects.). In the fifteen years since my diagnosis, we've had three bites. Two we forgot to use spray and one bite was on the neck where my husband forgot to spray and then walked up against tree branches. (Ticks don't jump but they can hitchhike on birds.) Each time, we sent off the tick for testing. Testing the tick is super cheap and far more accurate than human lab tests after the fact. For about $45-50 you'll get a report on what kind of tick it was (not all ticks carry the same diseases), what stage it was (certain stages of the life cycle are more prone to transmit), whether it was male or female (for example, male deer ticks don't transmit), AND whether the tick was positive for any number of diseases. Finally, even if the tick does test positive, it doesn't mean it transmitted anything to you. Most experts also say that a tick has to be attached and feeding for about 24 hours to transmit. The tick tests are seriously worth the peace of mind and helpful in diagnosing/determining treatment should it come back positive.
I know that was a lot of detailed information, but you seem the type who might find that reassuring. :) And if I can help spare another person from the trial of Lyme, it's worth it.
I’ve heard about the testing and knew that was an option! So grateful for things like that. (Also, I’m so sorry about the Lyme disease). I think we’ll just have to get into a good routine of being aware of things.
Thanks for all the encouragement:)
NC is amazing.. lived there for 10 years. Praying for you all!
Thank you, Julie!
Oh so many things, Annelise!! It sounds exciting and scary and sad and overwhelming all at the same time. Praying for you during this transition.
Thank you, Stacy! We really were convinced we might go to Montana or Idaho, but land and water are so hard to come by. I’m going to miss the West though.
I get that! The East coast will be a fun change for you all!!
Praying praying praying, sweet friend! I’ve visited NC a few times and just adore it. Beautiful country over there. And if and when that first hurricane hits, you’ve got a pal down in Texas who can walk you through it. 😅
I appreciate that! My husband’s cousin’s wife is a FL girl, so she’s been very patient with my panicky text messages 😆 It really just makes me laugh at myself a little — because people live with all sorts of threats all the time. But it’s just what your “normal” is that defines your perception of things.
Yes! We joke every time it dips below maybe 28F (which is maybe like once a year) that Texas shuts down because it might snow 😂