Nov 3, 2023·edited Nov 3, 2023Liked by Annelise Roberts
Thanks for this. Your comment about being in a "church with human beings" brought this to mind from Flannery O'Connor. Something she wrote in a letter to a friend:
"This will perhaps surprise you because you are very conscious of the sins of others...the Church is a Church of sinners...All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful...To have the church be what you want it to be would require the continuous miraculous meddling of God in human affairs...Human nature is so faulty that it can resist any amount of grace and most of the time it does. The church does well to hold its own but you are asking that she show a profit...It is easy for any child to pick out the faults in the sermon on his way home from church every Sunday. It is impossible for him to find out the hidden love that makes a man, in spite of his intellectual limitations, his neuroticism, his own lack of strength, give up his life to the service of God's people, however bumblingly he may go about it."
Also, your comments about health concerns are completely relatable to me. I've had a few of my own and (everyone is different about these kinds of things) I find that if I make fun of myself it has a weird dissipative effect on my worries. Not entirely sure why. Something about self-mockery has the effect of making me less worried in some way. Anyway, I wrote about my experience in a post titled "A More Interesting Life Than I Would Have Preferred". It's here if you're interested: https://keithlowery.substack.com/p/a-life-more-interesting-than-i-prefer
I love this quote, Keith. Thanks so much for sharing. You have been through so much! What a journey of medical things. I agree that sometimes the morbid jokes really help with very serious stuff. It's almost the only way to make sense of things. I pretty much assume that anyone who's very funny has seen some things!
"I'm afraid that perhaps I am not telling the truth, or that I'm not telling all of it, or enough of it, or perhaps I tell too much of it." Ah yes, what a lovely knot we tie ourselves into!
Thank goodness for kids! They were SO funny. The whole costume was quite convincing - they wore my husband's brown hoodie sweatshirts with rope belts and crosses 😆
I'm not sure what to do with it, but you're definitely not alone. I've been thinking about this more.... how if the Word is really "sharp as a two-edged sword" how maybe I just want to know that the person wielding it has my best interests in mind? You know? If it's going to cut me I want it to be the healing cut of a skilled surgeon, not being wounded by someone's clumsiness.
Yes. Annelise, you're so skilled at putting words to this! I want to write down everything you're saying on my bathroom mirror so I can read it every day! Truly, thank you for helping to put clarity to this for me. <3 It's incredibly refreshing. I love the surgery metaphor here.
Thank you! I appreciate the prayers. I have had several very reassuring conversations and glad I went in to get things checked at least. It's always better to be dealing with a known entity.
They were pretty funny to read. The types of things I think of the next morning while showering - always reminds me of Meg Ryan from “You’ve Got Mail” and her talking about how she can never think of the right thing to say when she wants to say it.
Your encouragement to your children to flow with their healthy imaginations -- to the point of shaving their heads 😀 -- wins you the prize of Best Mom!!
It’s more mundane than remarking on your other more profound thoughts, but I’ve been gluten free and dairy free for years now and it is so, so exhausting sometimes! I’m sure you already know PaleoRunningMomma, but her recipes are usually winners. I’ve learned her trick that she uses in most stews and adapted it for my own. Anytime there is cream in a soup or stew, you can substitute coconut cream plus (and this is key for it not tasting like coconut) some combo of fresh lemon juice, Dijon mustard, and/ or nutritional yeast.
I also tend to cook a lot of “Asian inspired” meals as those cuisines generally use less dairy or none, and tamari is a great substitute for soy sauce (as opposed to coconut aminos which are the usual rec but honestly very hit or miss for me.) The more I’ve moved in the direction of finding flavour profiles that don’t rely on gluten or dairy, the easier I’ve found it to be. We eat a lot of salad+protein, rice bowls, stir-fry, and soups and stews. And the occasional traditional English roast dinner since I married a Brit :)
I’ve also got a whole Thanksgiving menu that is gluten and dairy free. I’d be happy to share anything with you that might help as it is really hard and so tiring!
It may not be profound, but the amount of headspace the meals take up in my life is exhausting. My kids are all gluten and dairy free, one is egg and soy sensitive, I can't have nightshades or nuts or... it's just an exhausting form of tetris to keep everyone fed. We rely on Asian flavor profiles a lot too! The nutritional yeast/mustard combo is smart. I just bookmarked her recipe for beef stroganoff to try soon, but finding mental bandwidth to try a new recipe is sometimes a whole thing in itself.
I understand! I did AIP for a while and it nearly killed me. I felt like all I ever thought about was what I could eat next and going out to eat was basically impossible. I’ve heard that such things as meal services for AIP exist... might be worth checking! Hang in there- it’s hard work esp having to manage it for other people beyond yourself!
Ugh. Yes. I really regret trying AIP, though I suppose you could say it's been effective. I've just struggled to expand my diet without flaring (thankfully chocolate and coffee are still in). I now advise anyone with chronic illness to look for other interventions before getting too crazy with the elimination diets. I was covered in rashes head to toe, so pretty desperate. Totally understand why people try it, but yeesh. There should be more of a disclaimer of the mental toll these things take.
Oh #3 and #10 got me! And I love this format of mini essays! And the monk hairstyles... oh the things you can do with little boys 😂 I have two girls so I'd never be able to do something so funny!
the author has retired to bed (as must his mother) but I will ask! I bet he'd think it was great. (and then you can imagine him reading it in his class in a monk outfit with a country twang 😆)
I don’t know - maybe it’s because our culture likes to make a sales pitch out of Scripture sometimes, and so it can be associated with a lack of authenticity. This is definitely a mindset I’ve had to recover from over the past few years, to rediscover the beauty and depth of the Bible!
“Sometimes knowing more doesn’t change things. Sometimes the facts still don’t make sense, no matter how you explain them. Life refuses to fall into tidily researched categories and I wonder: will I ever learn to pray first? How long will it take until I get to the end of myself and admit I’m not in control?” Yesssssss.... 👏🏼 We’ve been talking about this in my bible study the past few weeks about how we are not in control but we try our best to do just that. It’s so hard isn’t it, to submit to the Lord and admit that our striving isn’t getting is as far as we thought? 💗 I absolutely struggle with this by the way, it is an ongoing lesson for me.
This whole post was absolutely brilliant Annelise, and I will keep you in my prayers regarding your biopsy results 🙏🏼
Thanks, I so appreciate the prayers. Recovering control freaks unite... It's such a vicious cycle too because the information gathering often makes me even more anxious, thus feeding my need to grab more tightly.
Thanks for this. Your comment about being in a "church with human beings" brought this to mind from Flannery O'Connor. Something she wrote in a letter to a friend:
"This will perhaps surprise you because you are very conscious of the sins of others...the Church is a Church of sinners...All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful...To have the church be what you want it to be would require the continuous miraculous meddling of God in human affairs...Human nature is so faulty that it can resist any amount of grace and most of the time it does. The church does well to hold its own but you are asking that she show a profit...It is easy for any child to pick out the faults in the sermon on his way home from church every Sunday. It is impossible for him to find out the hidden love that makes a man, in spite of his intellectual limitations, his neuroticism, his own lack of strength, give up his life to the service of God's people, however bumblingly he may go about it."
Also, your comments about health concerns are completely relatable to me. I've had a few of my own and (everyone is different about these kinds of things) I find that if I make fun of myself it has a weird dissipative effect on my worries. Not entirely sure why. Something about self-mockery has the effect of making me less worried in some way. Anyway, I wrote about my experience in a post titled "A More Interesting Life Than I Would Have Preferred". It's here if you're interested: https://keithlowery.substack.com/p/a-life-more-interesting-than-i-prefer
I love this quote, Keith. Thanks so much for sharing. You have been through so much! What a journey of medical things. I agree that sometimes the morbid jokes really help with very serious stuff. It's almost the only way to make sense of things. I pretty much assume that anyone who's very funny has seen some things!
"I'm afraid that perhaps I am not telling the truth, or that I'm not telling all of it, or enough of it, or perhaps I tell too much of it." Ah yes, what a lovely knot we tie ourselves into!
It's a real conundrum, this writing thing... Kind of like an illness 😆
Thanks for adding the child-monk annecdotes. Hahaha Comedic relief is always welcome, and kids always come through.
Thank goodness for kids! They were SO funny. The whole costume was quite convincing - they wore my husband's brown hoodie sweatshirts with rope belts and crosses 😆
WHEW, number eight! I feel that so much. I'm so relieved to read your words here, and know I'm not alone with this.
I'm not sure what to do with it, but you're definitely not alone. I've been thinking about this more.... how if the Word is really "sharp as a two-edged sword" how maybe I just want to know that the person wielding it has my best interests in mind? You know? If it's going to cut me I want it to be the healing cut of a skilled surgeon, not being wounded by someone's clumsiness.
Yes. Annelise, you're so skilled at putting words to this! I want to write down everything you're saying on my bathroom mirror so I can read it every day! Truly, thank you for helping to put clarity to this for me. <3 It's incredibly refreshing. I love the surgery metaphor here.
Keeping you in my prayers with all of that health anxiety, I feel you one every single bit of it! 🤍
Also .. all of #10!
Thank you! I appreciate the prayers. I have had several very reassuring conversations and glad I went in to get things checked at least. It's always better to be dealing with a known entity.
Those burns tho...
They were pretty funny to read. The types of things I think of the next morning while showering - always reminds me of Meg Ryan from “You’ve Got Mail” and her talking about how she can never think of the right thing to say when she wants to say it.
exactly!
Your encouragement to your children to flow with their healthy imaginations -- to the point of shaving their heads 😀 -- wins you the prize of Best Mom!!
My husband really gets all the credit! But I have gotten better at just letting things roll 😉
It’s more mundane than remarking on your other more profound thoughts, but I’ve been gluten free and dairy free for years now and it is so, so exhausting sometimes! I’m sure you already know PaleoRunningMomma, but her recipes are usually winners. I’ve learned her trick that she uses in most stews and adapted it for my own. Anytime there is cream in a soup or stew, you can substitute coconut cream plus (and this is key for it not tasting like coconut) some combo of fresh lemon juice, Dijon mustard, and/ or nutritional yeast.
I also tend to cook a lot of “Asian inspired” meals as those cuisines generally use less dairy or none, and tamari is a great substitute for soy sauce (as opposed to coconut aminos which are the usual rec but honestly very hit or miss for me.) The more I’ve moved in the direction of finding flavour profiles that don’t rely on gluten or dairy, the easier I’ve found it to be. We eat a lot of salad+protein, rice bowls, stir-fry, and soups and stews. And the occasional traditional English roast dinner since I married a Brit :)
I’ve also got a whole Thanksgiving menu that is gluten and dairy free. I’d be happy to share anything with you that might help as it is really hard and so tiring!
It may not be profound, but the amount of headspace the meals take up in my life is exhausting. My kids are all gluten and dairy free, one is egg and soy sensitive, I can't have nightshades or nuts or... it's just an exhausting form of tetris to keep everyone fed. We rely on Asian flavor profiles a lot too! The nutritional yeast/mustard combo is smart. I just bookmarked her recipe for beef stroganoff to try soon, but finding mental bandwidth to try a new recipe is sometimes a whole thing in itself.
I understand! I did AIP for a while and it nearly killed me. I felt like all I ever thought about was what I could eat next and going out to eat was basically impossible. I’ve heard that such things as meal services for AIP exist... might be worth checking! Hang in there- it’s hard work esp having to manage it for other people beyond yourself!
Ugh. Yes. I really regret trying AIP, though I suppose you could say it's been effective. I've just struggled to expand my diet without flaring (thankfully chocolate and coffee are still in). I now advise anyone with chronic illness to look for other interventions before getting too crazy with the elimination diets. I was covered in rashes head to toe, so pretty desperate. Totally understand why people try it, but yeesh. There should be more of a disclaimer of the mental toll these things take.
YES. I know dietary changes can work wonders (I’ve seen it myself), but the mental and emotional load is full time work!
Oh #3 and #10 got me! And I love this format of mini essays! And the monk hairstyles... oh the things you can do with little boys 😂 I have two girls so I'd never be able to do something so funny!
There are distinct advantages to hair that grows quickly and can be buzzed 😆
What are the chances that you'd be willing to post the whole "Hank and Bill" story -- provided the author granted you the rights?
Asking for a friend.
the author has retired to bed (as must his mother) but I will ask! I bet he'd think it was great. (and then you can imagine him reading it in his class in a monk outfit with a country twang 😆)
I resonate with SO MUCH of this (6, 7, 8, 10 especially). Thank you for sharing. I’m encouraged by your writing!
I’m so glad that it’s encouraging. I am always hopeful that people come away feeling a little less lonely.
I so relate to #8!
I wonder why it is that this seems to be quite common?
I don’t know - maybe it’s because our culture likes to make a sales pitch out of Scripture sometimes, and so it can be associated with a lack of authenticity. This is definitely a mindset I’ve had to recover from over the past few years, to rediscover the beauty and depth of the Bible!
“Sometimes knowing more doesn’t change things. Sometimes the facts still don’t make sense, no matter how you explain them. Life refuses to fall into tidily researched categories and I wonder: will I ever learn to pray first? How long will it take until I get to the end of myself and admit I’m not in control?” Yesssssss.... 👏🏼 We’ve been talking about this in my bible study the past few weeks about how we are not in control but we try our best to do just that. It’s so hard isn’t it, to submit to the Lord and admit that our striving isn’t getting is as far as we thought? 💗 I absolutely struggle with this by the way, it is an ongoing lesson for me.
This whole post was absolutely brilliant Annelise, and I will keep you in my prayers regarding your biopsy results 🙏🏼
Thanks, I so appreciate the prayers. Recovering control freaks unite... It's such a vicious cycle too because the information gathering often makes me even more anxious, thus feeding my need to grab more tightly.