for the one holding joy at arm's length

a letter

One of the most helpful frameworks I’ve used throughout trauma recovery is something called IFS, or Internal Family Systems. The basic idea is that trauma of all sorts necessarily fragments our wholeness, leaving different “parts” of us carrying stories. These parts have their reasons for acting the way they do. People don’t just happen, and our parts don’t either. But when you run up against these one dimensional beliefs over and over, wondering what’s wrong with you - why you can’t just get over it - it’s easy to despise them for keeping you from feeling how you “should” feel about a situation. Approaching these parts with kindness and care? Taking the time to hear the story of why they are the way they are? It’s one of the best ways I know to be a little more at peace with yourself. The more I know about psychology, the more I believe that sound practice always lines up with scripture. The fragmentation and internal warring that IFS gives tools to handle is nothing new. Paul speaks…